After The Riots: The Short Film

CAST:

Adam Argento: Samuel B. Barnes

Ally Keith: Priscilla Faia

Caroline Bergman: Tracy Hallam

Malcolm: Jim Chan

Nicolas Cage Plays A Pirate

In Werner Herzog’s new film, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, Nicolas Cage plays, you guessed it, a bad Lieutenant named Terence McDonagh. But don’t let the title of film trick you. He may be playing a cop in the New Orleans Police Department, but that’s not what he really is.

Terence McDonagh is a pirate.

No, really. A pirate. The following clip is where Cage explains to Eva Mendes all about it.

He doesn’t actually say, “I’m a pirate.” He used to think pirates buried treasure around his house. And what did he do? He stole their loot.

“It’s amazing what you can get done when you have a simple purpose guiding you through life.” That’s an exact quote from his character in the film.

Why Twihaters Hate New Moon

Do you hate this man? You do? I understand completely.

Unfortunately, for fans of the Twilight Saga, they’re not getting any support from viewers who haven’t read the books. It appears the only ones who like New Moon are the tweens, Twilight-moms, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner fanatics, and any other obsessors who don’t fall into these categories.

So, why doesn’t anyone else enjoy this latest chapter with Bella, Edward, and Jacob?

It’s simple. There’s no one to hate. So, we hate them all.

V’s Final Episode of 2009

After just four episodes, ABC’s V is done for 2009. Don’t worry, it will be back in 2010. But with the three episodes that have already aired, and one more on Tuesday, will that be enough for viewers to come back in the spring?

It all depends on tomorrow’s cliffhanger.

Elizabeth Mitchell and Logan Huffman looking up at the Visitors' ships.

Lets be honest, the first three episodes were mediocre at best. As I said in an earlier blog, Are Vs The New Cylons?, the one thing going for the series are the unique characters. For me, it’s not the normal characters that I’m finding intriguing — it’s the secondary ones.

Decapitation Is Now Comedically A-OK!

Who would’ve thought it would have come so soon? We’ve passed the point where decapitation jokes are now acceptable in public places — including Greyhound.

If you not familiar with what I’m talking about, you haven’t heard the tale of Vince Weiguang Li. On July 31, 2008, riders of this bus company woke up to the sounds of Tim McLean being stabbed in the neck by Li. What followed is still unbelievable a year and a half later.

This is a horrific incident that doesn’t bode well for Greyhound. This incident left all Canadians speechless. This incident spawned rumours which included cannibalism. And now, this incident is the butt end of many bus jokes.

“I hope I still have my head when I reach my destination.”

I Still Hate The Yankees

Sure, the New York Yankees are the 2009 World Series Champions, and sure, they were most definitely the best team this whole season… but I still hate their guts.

Douches. A whole bunch of 'em.

People who also felt that layer of slime on their body when the Dark Side clinched their 27th title know precisely what I’m talking about. It’s not that everyone on the team is a jerk, it’s because they are wearing pinstripes.

It is because they are a part of Steinbrenner’s ball club.

It’s because they are the Yankees.

Are Vs The New Cylons?

With the premiere of V last Tuesday, we witnessed the arrival of ABC’s latest alien reptiles. The series promises many things — including a “relationship” with a female FBI agent and a priest. However, if there is one thing that’s for certain, it’s this:

Anyone can be a V.

Sounds familiar? If your a fan of the sci-fi genre, it should. Battlestar Galactica based their whole run on the idea that anyone can be a cylon. Season 3′s finale rocked us by revealing four out of the last five. Even though we kept speculating on the identity of the fifth throughout its final season, and were eventually let down, we felt somewhat fulfilled.

So, will V try to build off of the same reservation that BSG did? Yes. Will it work for them? Probably not.

Turner Equals Anvil

There are a few things that I am thankful for.

1) The Turner/Moen combination that I have mixed into my DNA.

2) The lack of dates in October.

3) The batteries in my trimmer which didn’t die while weedwacking through the forest that was once planted on my face.

Because of these, I feel like Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.

This is me. Minus the man boobs... well... maybe the man boobs.