Blame Brodie For Paranormal Activity

With the release of the teaser for Paranormal Activity 2, it shows how confident Paramount feels with the franchise. Releasing it on the same night as Saw 3D, it’s guaranteed to slay that and the other competition.

PA2 is one of those films you either love or loathe, get it or don’t. However, it doesn’t matter where you stand, watching that teaser brings up revolting thoughts and arguments on why sequels suck.

I enjoyed the creepiness of the first. It was original. It was independent. It was interesting. However, there were flaws… and it’s now time for them to be debunked.

First off, all that yelling and screaming, there’s a lot of it. If you live in the suburbs of San Diego, your neighbors are going to hear “Ahh!!” every single time, day or night. Constant, high-pitched wails may pleasure the demons that lurk in the shadows, but also piss off the occupants of the people next door. Why didn’t anyone tell them to shut, the hell, up?

Secondly, the chandelier shaking, that wasn’t anything beyond the grave, that was a fuckin’ earthquake! You’re in San Diego, you get 4.0′s all the time. Instead of screaming in fear, maybe you should hide underneath your desk.

And lastly, remember the scene where Micah sprinkled powder on the floor, and the next morning he found footprints that resembled this:

Your first thought was, it’s some evil creature from the bowels of hell. Well, no. It belongs to this gargoyle:

I know. The first time I saw Brodie Thomas I said, “Man, this guy looks amphibious.” Don’t you think that at any moment, he’ll croak like a frog? Well, anyways, I’ve seen Mr. Thomas’ feet, and they’re webbed. He was definitely in that house during the night. But, that’s okay, because I know he plays “make believe” on a constant basis.

Sure, this time he played the part of a ghost. But, throughout the years, Brodie has pretended to be many things…

… a sea-captain…

… an 80′s rock star… or worse…

… Roger from RENT. If you’ve heard “Le Vie Boheme,” you know what you’re listening to. Brodie makes the fantastic musical number sound like this:

So, what does PA2 have to bank on? It’s simple. No Brodie. Whether it’s a hit or a flop, scary or stupid, all depends on if he makes an appearance in the film. Will he, or is he off on his next adventure…

… acting as a Chip ‘N Dale dancer… ?

We’ll see come Halloween.

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