Deacon

Sadly, with a no-pet policy where I’m staying in Vancouver, and landlords who abide by it if it was life or death, I, along with a few others, have been searching for a new home for this beautiful cat. Currently, Deacon is being lodged at Barks ‘n Rec in Trail, with an old high school friend, Sarah Fulcher.

I spoke with Sarah about her business and about Deacon’s progress. First off, what is BnR?

Sarah Fulcher: Bark’s ‘n Rec is a small business that my boyfriend Cam and I started which offers a wide range of pet services. Currently, the main body of the business is dog training, but we also do pet sitting, dog walking, pet photography and custom portraits (paintings). For dog training, I do group lessons for all ages from beginner to advanced. I do private lessons for behavioural problems or people who can’t make private lessons.

Now, the last shot showed the metal top spinning, leaving us wondering if it was a dream or if it was real. People like the ambiguity.

To even argue “real or dream” makes you look like a puppet. Why? Because what Nolan did was inception. He planted an idea in your head.

“What’s the most resilient parasite? An idea.”

The idea that was planted: Was Leonardo DiCaprio still dreaming?

There is no reason up to that point to make us believe that. Cobb’s storyline was wrapped up in a nice little bow. But Hollywood has given us, the audience, ridiculously stupid cliffhangers before. And to end it the way it did, people will automatically question whether or not it was a dream. To be fair, we did witness a dream in a dream in a dream… then limbo. So, what’s one more dream?

No. That’s the parasite at work.

You might argue Cobb’s like Marion Cotillard’s character, Mal, because she thought she was still dreaming after she woke up. However, in the end, he does not think this.

You have to exterminate any reasoning you may have if you think it was a dream, unless you want to be given your own ideas.

So, I applaud Nolan for the end. He has transported the theme of the movie into the real world. We’re left questioning the ending. And by doing that, he has successfully incepted us.

I quickly learned he graduated from the University of Lethbridge, recently participated in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles marathon, began emails with, “Message from the Overlord,” and quoted Star Wars constantly. To put it plainly, I knew he was the chosen one. It’s said that he would destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the force… er, what I’m getting at is I knew he perfect for my script and for Follies.

I took off for the month of June to let Kyle do his magic with the cast. A few days into July, I sat down with him for an exclusive 1-on-1 interview. And, I got right to the point.

Brian Turner: Was my script the best thing you’ve ever read?

Kyle Collins: Absolutely. The narrative was well-developed, including the jokes deriving from situational humour that had developed through story and character growth. The songs fit perfectly in that narrative, and there was a nice transition and unity between those dialogue and the musical components.

Brian Turner: Why, thank you.

Kyle Collins: I feel truly blessed for being one of the first to witness this masterpiece.

Brian Turner: Kyle, please…

Kyle Collins: I see Tony’s and a multimillion film deal on the horizon. Look out Shakespeare, there is a new Bard on the block!

Brian Turner: … Really?

Kyle Collins: No.

Doing my best to hold my composure, I faked a chortle. I went back to the basics. I asked him what his initial reaction was to the script.

Kyle Collins: I found myself chuckling at a few gags and the potential for humour therein. I was a little curious as to what the true climax of the piece was. The lack of an antagonist and protagonist made it difficult to determine where the build peaked. I left the script alone for a day or two to incubate and think on a few of these questions, then returned with a more solidified conception and was able to make the transition from impression to inspiration.

Brian Turner: And how was the transition from page to stage?

Kyle Collins: The process was very enjoyable. We experimented with a few different ideas and characterizations. Everything seems to have come together for the final product.

Brian Turner: The final product, opening night, how well was it received by the community?

Kyle Collins: Very well. The house was about half full, but was very responsive and engaged in the show. What surprised me was how many gags they laughed at which I did not foresee.

That’s because I’m hilarious. I plant jokes that even Jedi’s miss. Respect.

Kyle Collins: And you know, many responded to the overall show as one of the best that the Follies have put on.

Pff, of course they did, Kyle. I wrote it. Once again, respect.

Brian Turner: Your job is now complete. You’ll be leaving Rossland on the fourth. What will you miss most?

Kyle Collins: The people and the job itself. When a person is drawn to theatre and performance, if they are not involved, they feel hollow… like something is missing. It’s now time for me to go and leave it to the actors.

I thanked Kyle for the interview. I was ecstatic, Kyle appeared to be ecstatic, and my script was enjoyed by all. We said our goodbyes and began to part ways when I remembered one last question. An important one, one that needed to be asked. Am I going to like the final result?

Kyle Collins: I cannot be certain. After reading the script, I gained some insight as to what appeals to you artistically. So, I know you do not like good theatre.

What?

Kyle Collins: The show is now good, quite good. You may not like the changes and edits I made.

As I became red in the face, as I gritted my teeth, and reached for a nearby musket to demand what those changes were, Kyle leaped out of the window cackling, and took off in his X-Wing.

The Follies continues til August 21. Be sure to check it out.

PA2 is one of those films you either love or loathe, get it or don’t. However, it doesn’t matter where you stand, watching that teaser brings up revolting thoughts and arguments on why sequels suck.

I enjoyed the creepiness of the first. It was original. It was independent. It was interesting. However, there were flaws… and it’s now time for them to be debunked.

First off, all that yelling and screaming, there’s a lot of it. If you live in the suburbs of San Diego, your neighbors are going to hear “Ahh!!” every single time, day or night. Constant, high-pitched wails may pleasure the demons that lurk in the shadows, but also piss off the occupants of the people next door. Why didn’t anyone tell them to shut, the hell, up?

Secondly, the chandelier shaking, that wasn’t anything beyond the grave, that was a fuckin’ earthquake! You’re in San Diego, you get 4.0′s all the time. Instead of screaming in fear, maybe you should hide underneath your desk.

And lastly, remember the scene where Micah sprinkled powder on the floor, and the next morning he found footprints that resembled this:

Your first thought was, it’s some evil creature from the bowels of hell. Well, no. It belongs to this gargoyle:

I know. The first time I saw Brodie Thomas I said, “Man, this guy looks amphibious.” Don’t you think that at any moment, he’ll croak like a frog? Well, anyways, I’ve seen Mr. Thomas’ feet, and they’re webbed. He was definitely in that house during the night. But, that’s okay, because I know he plays “make believe” on a constant basis.

Sure, this time he played the part of a ghost. But, throughout the years, Brodie has pretended to be many things…

… a sea-captain…

… an 80′s rock star… or worse…

… Roger from RENT. If you’ve heard “Le Vie Boheme,” you know what you’re listening to. Brodie makes the fantastic musical number sound like this:

So, what does PA2 have to bank on? It’s simple. No Brodie. Whether it’s a hit or a flop, scary or stupid, all depends on if he makes an appearance in the film. Will he, or is he off on his next adventure…

… acting as a Chip ‘N Dale dancer… ?

We’ll see come Halloween.

You know, the ginormous hawk that was seen twice, remember?

You said no, didn’t you… Well, here’s the clip from the season 1 finale.

The bird, male or female, was seen again in the season 2 finale.

And that was the last time we saw of it. My prediction: No freakin’ idea. Which brings me to an even bigger point; with only a handful of episodes left, it’s obvious that everything will not be answered.

So, what will be revealed and what will be spared? Most, if not all of the strange happenings of the island will be explained. I’m sure that includes the Hurley Bird, whether it’s Jacob in another form, a pet project of DHARMA, or Walt with wings, we’ll be told what it is.

Character questions from their past will probably be forgotten about. I’m still one of those who wants to know why Libby was in the same mental hospital as Hurley way back in season 2, but I’ve come to realize that that will always be a mystery.

Other Predictions:

David, Jack’s son in the flash sideways, has a mom whom we haven’t seen. My guess: Juliet.

In the end of season 5, Juliet told Sawyer that even though we love someone, it doesn’t mean we’re meant to be with them. Obviously, Juliet is meant to be with Jack. We haven’t seen her in this alternate world, and it also looks like Sawyer is destined to be with Kate, so this kind of adds up.

If anyone is still unclear what Desmond is doing, then I’ll explain it to you how I see it.

Is this a scene out of Jurassic Park? Nope. No raptors in there, just Desmond getting zapped by electro-magnetism.

Desmond is going around and getting people from the island to meet one another in the flash sideways. What we expect is they’ll remember their other, the island, life — that’s why he smashed his car into Locke. Just like in season 5, after Locke’s car accident, he goes to Jack’s hospital. What’ should happen now is Jack will operate on Locke’s spine. Remember, Jack is the miracle doctor. Like his ex-wife, he’ll fix John. This means John Locke will never need the island to walk again, he just needs Dr. Jack Shepard. Therefore, John will get his wish: He’ll walk down the aisle at his wedding.

Next episode is called The Candidate. We should know who it is. Without a doubt, my money’s on Jack. But, I’ve been wrong before.

And lastly I’m going to comment on the young kids that the smoke monster sees on the island. He’s not the only one who sees them, whomever he’s with (Sawyer, Desmond), they see the boys too. And we know they’re different, the one Sawyer saw had blonde hair and the one Desmond saw had brown hair. So, okay, this may be a little out there… but what if those two were Sawyer and Desmond’s kids?

Many people have gone off the island have come back. The ones who haven’t, besides Eloise Hawking, are both boys: Walt and Aaron. If any of the main characters have kids (most of them do), they’re left away from the island.

We know the smoke monster is afraid (intimidated?) by these two boys. Might be one of the reasons why people can’t have children on the island — unless they’ve been touched by Jacob — is because the smoke monster has a way of not having allowing them to become pregnant?

There’s also this huge generation theme happening. Every character is who they are because of their parents: Sayid’s father first told Sayid to kill his first person, Kate was on the run for the murder of her father, Jack and his father, etc. So, is it too far out that if the parents made them who they were before the island, it’s their children who save them?

And now, since I’m done writing this, I’ll take a guess on the Hurley Bird. It’s the keeper of the dead people who are trapped on the island. That’s why only Hurley heard his name being squawked when it swooped down from the branch.

Four episodes to go…

As well, I just decided to do the categories I wanted. Why make a prediction on Sound Editing when I know nothing about the craft? Enjoy.

Actor in a Leading Role:

Who I want to win: George Clooney

Who I think will win: Jeff Bridges

Actor in a Supporting Role:

Who I think / want to win: Christopher Waltz

Actress in a Leading Role:

Who I think / want to win: Sandra Bullock

Actress in a Supporting Role:

Who I want to win: Vera Farmiga

Who I think will win: Mo’nique

Directing:

Who I want to win: Quentin Tarantino

Who I think will win: James Cameron

Documentary (Feature):

Who  I think / want to win: The Cove

Best Picture:

Who I want to win: Up in the Air

Who I think will win: Avatar

Writing (Adapted Screenplay):

Who I want to win: In The Loop or Up in the Air

Who I think will win: Up in the Air

Writing (Original Screenplay):

Who I want to win: Inglourious Basterds or A Serious Man

Who I think will win: Inglourious Basterds

You see, it’s not the ridiculous terrorist schemes or the over the top, quick escalating threats that gets us all heated up, it’s the banter between the computer techies. Nothing is sexier than watching two of ‘em bicker about how slow one is opening up a channel on a server… right?

It must be since there’s been many couples throughout the seasons.

Morris O'Brian (Carlo Rota) didn't fall in love with Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub) with her sexy talk... but with her dry, technical, nerdy talk.

The fact is, writers need to create conflict for compelling storylines, and nothing works better than relationships in the workplace. Series like Bones and Castle aren’t remembered for their weekly cases, but for the sexy squabbling between the two leads. That’s why 24 has based many of their B-stories on the supporting characters.

Let’s take a look at the ones that just happen at CTU:

Day 1: Nina Meyers and Tony Almeda

Day 2: Triangle between Tony Almeda, Michelle Dessler, and Carrie Turner

Day 3: Kim Bauer and Chase Edmunds, Almeda and Dessler

Day 4: Triangle between Almeda, Dessler, and Bill Buchanan. Curtis Manning and Marianne Taylor.

Day 5: Chloe and Morris O’Brian

Day 6: Milo Pressman and Nadia Yassir

Day 7: Renee Walker and Larry Moss, Sean Hillinger and Erika

Day 8: Cole Ortiz and Dana Walsh

There’s something sexy and mysterious about CTU. Mainly, because it’s an adult high school. Here are some comparisons between junior high and the fictitious government agency:

Conniving, insecure weasels whispering to one another in the quiet corners of the hectic halls.

When you’re doing something bad on the computer, you hope and pray the authoritative figure doesn’t look on your screen.

The more athletic people who succeed on/in the field are more recognized than the brainiacs.

If you want to do something against the rules, you go into the server room.

Oh, the server room — some nasty stuff always goes on in there. On the third day alone, Jack smoked Nina…

… while a few hours later, Tony gave Michelle a smokin’ hot kiss.

So, what is it? Why is this rooted in sex? Well, most thrillers, spy thrillers, simply are. The perfect example would be La Femme Nikita, which, interestly enough, has the same creators as 24. (The television series, not the Luc Besson film.) There’s something very hot about repressing your sexual feelings while in a professional environment. So, every now and again… it may lead to a kiss… or some goofy flirtation.

But, if you were frequently heard this sound, you’d probably always be in the mood.

Yup. That gets me goin’.

That’s what Rosslanders will be asking themselves when they watch the 2010 production of the Gold Fever Follies. And, of course, my script will be the source for this debate.

The Gold Fever Follies is a summer production based in Rossland, British Columbia. Their shows revolve around the city’s history during the gold rush. I’ve written three scripts which were performed for previous seasons; you might say it’s where my craft first began. Last autumn, I was asked by Lisa Henderson to write a new script and I obliged her. I’ve had this certain idea circulating in my head for years which would be absolutely perfect for the group. So, I began writing.

Little did I know that something was about to happen which would make people question where I got my story.

My first Follies. I'm trying to get a kiss from Consuela, played by Sarah Fulcher.

The Follies is known for the Can-Can — it’s a must every year. Therefore, the majority, if not all of the play, is based in a bar. So, without spoiling too much of the show, I thought it would make for an interesting spin if the characters were trapped in the establishment, like miners trapped in the mines. A fun idea, right?

Well, this past year, something that can only be described as a comedy of errors led to three foreign exchange students being locked in the Le Roi mine after a student function. Luckily, after a few hours, they were rescued.

The three had quite an adventure, wandering through the mines in the pitch black, finding an emergency kit, and hanging out in the cold, damp tunnels. They knew someone would eventually figure out where they were, because if they didn’t, they’d spend the next six months in the depths of Red Mountain.

After the whole ordeal was over, everyone laughed about the whole thing — the exchange students most of all. And, of course, someone came up to Henderson and said, “This would make for a good Follies script.”

Well, crap. I had already started writing my script which is reminiscent of that night at the Le Roi. I’m sure anyone who is familiar with this story will immediately bring it up after watching my script, which is currently titled Trapped In The Murphy Inn. All I can say is… I was writing it before the three foreign exchange students had the shock of their lives. Scout’s honour.

Henderson was also nice enough to let me sit in with the Kootenay auditions. I watched as local talent acted out monologues, sang songs, and danced. It was interesting to watch these people try out on the same stage I auditioned on nine years prior.

The Stage at R.S.S.

Auditions will also be taking place in Lethbridge, Vancouver, and Victoria. And, for any of you who are curious, I sung Take Me Out To The Ballgame when I tried out. I was almost as good as Ozzy.

For example, what’s happening to Sayid? Who is claiming him? Is it the “Man in Black” aka the smoke monster aka the new John Locke?

Possibly. Like Illana said in the last episode, The Substitute, the Man in Black is recruiting. And, even though he was successful with a weak Sawyer, it appears there are other ways of getting people to join his team.

Let’s think back to when Rousseau first landed on the island. Her whole team was attacked by the smoke monster and dragged underneath the temple. So, to truly understand the Man in Black and the sickness, we need to understand what happened to the French woman.

From Season 1 on, she’s always talked about the “sickness” that took over her whole team. When we finally saw the effects in Season 5, we realized Rousseau wasn’t as crazy as we all thought. Her husband proved he was a different man when he pulled a gun on his pregnant wife. Then, they were proven different when we were shown their original corpses in the bowels of the temple. So, what does this mean?

It means both white and black recruit for their own armies with people who are alive: Jacob asked Ilana to come to the island; the Man in Black asked Sawyer to help him get off the island — and with dead people.

That’s right. The majority of the deaths on the island have all been smoke monster and whisper related: Shannon, Mr. Eko, Niki, Michael. And when Ben kidnapped baby Alex, he told Rousseau, “… if you hear whispers, run the other way.” Meaning, the “whispers” are “Other” related. And, if they’re “Other” related, then they’re Jacob related.

So, Jacob equals whispers; Man in Black equals smoke monster. Agree or disagree?

But for me, the biggest mystery of all is a third team. The one Jacob warned about in his dying words… “They’re coming.” Is this someone neutral? Or is it the Ajira flight?

The idea of “teams” and “armies” have been hinted back all the way in Season 2. Here are the last few minutes of an episode.

I find it interesting that Michelle Rodriguz says, “progress,” the same thing Jacob said in the opening of the Season 5 finale. There’s a lot of happening in this scene… if we could’ve only connected the dots back then.

Predictions:

I do believe the young boy who the Man in Black (New Locke) saw was Aaron. I don’t know how but he definitely had Claire’s blonde hair and blue eyes.

Richard was on the Black Rock as a slave. It makes sense when the Man in Black says, “I’m not used to seeing you out of those chains.” Plus, in Season 5, we saw him working one of those “ships in a bottle.”

The Black Rock was also an earlier Flight 815 where this game was played. If I’m right, then one of the new characters will have Richard’s old job and never age.

Who will replace Jacob? Jack.

Moms with their mom blogs.

Apparently, these types of blogs are the new thing — and there’s a whole litter of them. They gab about what’s usually on their minds: Sofa cushions, James Brolin, and the the ugly, single woman who lives up the block (it’s like she doesn’t even TRY to look pretty). So, they blog and other moms take a detour before they stop at The Basement.

I have to ask, why? Why moms? I mean, I have a whole a whack of articles right up your alley. We have Decapitation Is Now Comedically A-OK!, one about Twilight: New Moon, and one about my facial hair and man boobs. What mom doesn’t like to read about my man boobs? Tell me that.

But really, it doesn’t matter, because if they’re not falling for my writing then they’ll fall for my trickery. I plan on hornswoggling the moms into coming back.

The plan: Create a new identity in which I become a mom. My name, Brianna. Brianna Chan. Once I infiltrate their section of the blogosphere, I’ll bring up this site through subtle hints. Of course, I’ll attempt to create articles that moms will want to read, but my main focus will always be here.

What do you think? Will it work? To find out, check out Brianna Chan’s blog by clicking here.